Confession: I kinda want to be one of those people who always carries their camera with them.
I'm already the kind of nerd that reads her camera's manual and watches online photography seminars taught by middle aged men. It's only logical to take it to the next level.
But there are three problems with this:
a.) I'd feel like a fraud. I have a very real concern of being a "faux-tographer", aka, someone who thinks they take good photos but really lacks in actual skill. Granted, I've learned enough to fake it. But I want to be totally knowledgeable about my camera and about how to take good photos. I want aperture settings and shutter speeds and ISO's to flow as naturally from me as the parts of speech or facts about early nineties TV shows concerning FBI agents and aliens. I want to understand bracketing and back focusing and neutral density filters. I want to do more than just take photos. I want to create art.
b.) I'm afraid of being socially awkward. I'm already socially awkward. Adding a camera to it and being "that guy" could definitely put me over the edge. I'm thinking about tackling street photography--ya know, where you approach a total stranger and ask if you can take their picture. The thought makes me squirm uncomfortably. (Of course, I could always make Seth do the talking. He has never minded being socially awkward.)
c.) I never actually go anywhere.
When it comes to photography, I think I've learned all I can by just doing and trial and error. It's time for me to actually study it, and make myself take what I learn and put it into practice. I've started a photography journal where I write down things I want to attempt and study. I told Seth about it and he kinda got excited, which at first I thought was sarcasm (because he can't really like following me around town while I shoot things like skylines and headstones), but he claimed it was genuine interest. I'm glad for this, because Seth is much more technical than I am. I should make him watch the online seminars with me. He'd be very handy at translating technical terms into simple "press this, hold that" terms that a global girl like myself can understand.
I have no interest in making it a career either. As with most things in my life, it's all for self fulfillment. (Big, toothy grin here.)
So if you see me with my camera, try not to judge me too harshly. Nerds gotta have hobbies too.
PS: In the interest of irony, I'm not including any photos in this post.